I am so sorry that you are dealing with that. I hope you find a way out sooner than later that works.
I wish I could support you better. Wish I could be by you to help.
I absolutely love the everliving shit out of you. I’m not crawling anymore.
Always here as best I can be.
I’m going to set up a form on this site where you can contact me also, might make you feel safer. We need a better way to communicate. This is utter bullshit.
I fucking hate this. I should be able to be by your side when you need me.
Is it getting worse?
Did you talk to the domestic abuse people? I’d beg you to get out, but you know, and have your situation to deal with.
Just consider for me, that if it’s that bad maybey that takes precedence over some other concerns. It took me years to process things. Still am.
Just take it step by step, one thing at a time. Day by day.
You got this. Your strong as hell. Lean on others, use the resources available. They’ve seen it all.
I’ve used them. Would have been in worse shape if I didn’t. I can help navigate the system also. I’ve been dealing with it for years.
I don’t know what you want I can’t talk to you. I’m going to try to fix that in a way you’re comfortable with.
Please keep yourself in this situation much longer. I saw some of what it did to you on sexual tension janga night the first time I saw you in years.
I also saw you happy. That’s how I want my Jillian.
Check back here latter.
And a quick update on me.
On a positive note I got a quick backrub as I was leaving the viffer last night. Some girl just started as I was leaving. Haven’t had one of those in a while.
Talked to the funeral home not long ago. It’s in motion. No word from the family, still squatting in my house. Waiting on the courts.
I think I’m doing all the right things.
Missed my therapy session. Thought it was tomorrow. She called while I was on with the funeral home.
I was late last week. And I missed an appointment today. I’m going to have to some groveling to Rebecca. I’m sure she will understand.
As I was writing this Rebecca found time at 2:30.
Did you ever get a therapist for yourself? It helps if you can find the right one. Dump them immediately if they don’t feel right.
I will talk here more today. Your loved, respected, and you do not deserve this. Remember that.
Lu.
Tell me if I’m too much. Don’t want to add stress.
1:30
Probate filing was denied. Called and have the right process now. Have to file that again and file against the restraining orders.
Divorce judge may handle it. Don’t know.
I can at least get probate open. I have to file for hearings with the ofp’s. Ill try to get them knocked down without needing a hearing, I just have to wait for one try to get to happen quick.
They don’t live on the state. So no expectation of harm. It’s an obvious play.
Planning on selling the truck, could get 20 or more for it. I’ll just get something cheaper. Be able to handle all the bills while I deal with this.
What an incredible pain in my ass.
Poor therapist that will have to deal with me in 20.
Just legwork now I hope. Been spending all day on this shit for a while. I’m on it as best I can be.
Going to try to get that going today.
Hope your day is going good.
You can can click into the posts on the site and comment. Only you have access to the site.
I’m on it. I’m good.
3pm
Rebecca survived me! Good to talk. She cracks me up.
Going to grab some food and chill for a little.
I did end up getting some sleep last night. Ya me!
Did not want to up until 2. Don’t have my sleep machine that makes the snoring sound. Prefere that to the Amazon rain forest or a rain storm.
Might have to find that dude from jail to record something for me…
It helped to have that schedule also. We were such assholes at first. 3 am every night. Thank you mommy, for making me go to bed at a decent hour.
I so went to jail. Still can’t get over that. Everyone there was nicer than a lot of people in my life. Even mr. steal a couple TVs and beat people’s ass guy.
Please be safe tonight, remember it’s not just physical things that hurt people.
I’ll be thinking of you. Always do. One text if you need help. Remember that. Have someone there in 15 minutes.
I’m hearing less from you. Try to let me know what’s up. I’ll look in between the lines. I don’t have a good feeling about this. Something changed.
I still haven’t heard a no. So I’m assuming things here.
The code phrase to get me to know I shouldnt keep doing what I am is: The Bisquick is in the freezer with that dead body I’m Feeding to the zombies in my back yard. (Think I got asshole and nerd there)
You’ll have to work that into a communication to get rid of me. 😜
I’m sure you’ll hear more here today. The domestic abuse folks will find a safe way to contact me.
Some day all of this will be behind us both. Hold on to that. Hold on to that pillow you sleep with. I use my phone. Not nearly as comfy.
Post therapy, it makes me think.
LU. Miss you and will see you again. Unless you can make that sentence happen.
Darling. I really do have you best I can and am fighting as hard as I can, not just for me.
You changed my life again. Thank you.
Fucking Rebecca…
6ish.
My neighbor invited me out for a beer. Been better about getting out and seeing people. Having fum. He’s a good guy. Tbe one that was part of the grow business.
Headed home soon to work on things.
I really want to know how you are. Maybe the domestic abuse center can help you make a call or communicate safely.
I don’t want to pressure you, you, do what’s best for you. I can wait, of you need that.
I just need to talk to you if you can find a way. If not I understand.
My spidey sense is tingling. It’s normally right. Something feels off.
Trying to read between the lines, there aren’t many anymore.
Anythng….
Love you so dearly.
I’m sure more latter.
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