MUSABLE.ME

Just finished that project. I am so tired. I’ve got a bug, bad. Was not fun coughing through that back injury.

I dd get some free jerky from a Neighbor (he he?). The stick things. (maybe? I’m tired) Poor guys wife works where they make them, he is happy to get rid of them. I don’t know how happy I am to receive. Good Guy. The one that used to work in the weed biz. Still ate one.

You’re not done with me, are you? It’s just a longer, rockier road without the more uncertain outcome we, or me thought may happen. You’re more pragmatic, than me. I’m Leroy Jenkins at times.

Keep talking darling. I am working on myself; I just have a mountain range of shit to cross to get there. I can do it. Just have a few more months of dealing with the big issue. Then I can relax.

If that is the place I may end up, I makes me work harder. Even the idea of it.

LU

Woke up to dreams of you. Emails, You, you were coming back. Kind of a bittersweet wake up. Don’t remember anything you wrote,

My back is slowly getting better. Still hurts like a bitch.

No more Issues of passing out. Never did figure it out. So that’s good. I’ve never lost consciousness before, kind of scary. ah, except on tme at parts 20 years oud, too much nitrous…

I’m going to be doing he uber thing to get by until I get my big boy job. Be good for me to be around people.

Hope all is well. Miss Yo Face

Starting to finally heal up. Damn that hurts. I went down hard. Had to be a loss of oxygen to my brain. It was instant.

Once I get moving for a while, it feels better. First thing in the morning is not pretty.

I am going to get out of here for a while. Not sure where. I would come there (see my email), if you gave the go ahead.

It’s too fucked up here. I do not feel safe, but I am keeping myself as safe as I can. It’s time for me to get out of dodge, if I can.

I am working on getting stuff done, had to take a break for a few days, back and ribs hurt too bad. Mostly slept. Need to get back to it tomorrow full time.

Had a miscommunication with that small project. He didn’t explain what he wanted well. It happens. Want to make him happy, could be a lot more work for his realty company. Nice guy. We get along well. I could help him a lot. It’s what I do to a T.

We figured it out. Talked with him today. Somehow, I’m good with clients. I just don’t bullshit them ever. Unless they are assholes, then you get the “pain in the ass tax” added to your bill and me doing exactly what you ask for with no thought.

I hope you are doing well and hope to hear from you soon. Even a short email makes me happy. I’ll be good, just want to know how you are doing, always.

You take care of you and yours. I’ll do my best to take care of myself. ltso… can’t stop that. Sorry.

Going to add all of your songs to the front page. Thanks for being my muse.

You helped me do some of my best work. All art grant worthy and shit. I am going to do a full recording with other instruments at some point, just can’t bring myself to play them again yet. I’ll get there.

Always here.

Damn this hurts. Getting slowly better.

Bruised ribs are no joke. my neighbors must think I’m crazier then before.

There is a lot of loud complaining about the pain. Maybe some whining like a two year old.

i do not do well with pain.

Fun fact about Adam.

He is not good with pain or being sick. Needs a mommy to check on him. He rarely gets sick tough. I think it’s been 7 years.

But when he does it’s not pretty.

Weeks of a winey man child laying on the couch potentially.

Hope all s well. ltso….

Damn it… Can’t help myself.

I’m feeling better. Back and ribs are not as angry. That sucked.

My ass spent 10 minuets getting off the couch the other night,

Hopefully Richard fixed it when he was here. He changed how things were vented; I’m right above the boiler and the water heater.

Slept most of the day. Tired as hell. Which makes sense,

I guess it was my weekend, back at shit mountain tomorrow.

I would love to hear how my Jillian is. Or my Jill if that’s the case. That’s kind of ok also. I’ll take what I can get.

One of my neighbors who I rarely talk to, just run into her and her dog. That dog is adorable, little fluffy well-kept fucker. Gave me a medical joint. Might have some before bed, what is it with people giving me weed? Can’t complain.

Get in touch when you can. LTSO,,, Almost did it. I’m trying to behave. I’m not always good at behaving.

Still not sure how to navigate this yet. You are the one, I want you in my life any way I can have you.

I lost consciousness and fell down behind my apartment. If I hadn’t woken up at 3 and gotten outside, I may no8ut have made it through the night. I was that bad, don’t know how long I was out.

My fucking life.

It was oxygen deprivation. Probably from the boiler. Fine after Richard came by, just hurting bad from the fall and a little freaked out.

Decided to rewrite this, may have been a bit out of it still when I did earlier. Not too interesting now. I need to get my funny on to keep your attention. Or my costume…

Shit version, but you know… I like making you things.

Yes, I’m a pathetic fuck. I always leave some fuck ups for you.

My ass fell on the ice last night. Back hurts like a bitch, hit my head. I’m fine.

Taking a day off to recover some. Been working on things around 12 hours a day nonstop so I could use it anyway.

Move down there? You didn’t seem to oppose to the idea,

I don’t really want to or have reason to be here anymore. A fully new start would be good for me. Also, there is this girl there I kind of like,..

You may be fully back with Joe or likely have other reasons its a bad idea, I don’t know, just putting it out there.

It would be long enough for us to think about making sure we are Beng healthy about it and making the right choice, it would be about 3 or 4 months.

You did perk up when I mentioned it the other night, I’ll have money and without all the stress, I shouldn’t have a problem finding a job ahead of time, I may be able to be a big fish in a smaller pond outside of phenix also.

Wouldn’t be 6 years, i am not a fan of 6 years.

or if you are happy, I’m happy for you, Hard to let something so amazing go without another shot,

I’m going to write here some. It’s only available to one person with the password. I promise it won’t be like this moving forward. We just never got to say goodbye. I was in a murderous rage (just pissed, only took out three boy scouts, that’s not too bad right?) about that.

I want to feel I have some way to safely communicate, make stupid jokes and not be forgotten. I fear that. I don’t know if that is the right thing though, I can be ignored, or told to fuck off.

I’ll at least try to be entertaining…

I like to write. It may get weird. I get too into Bukovsky sometimes.

I am still crawling. Mabey I’ll be slow enough to be right on time. Or I’m an idiot. ehhh,

Really just a safe place to stay connected, no matter what happens. I would like to. Even if it’s not what I want out of us. I like knowing you, you know me. No one else does or has.

More to say, but I’m not part of it now. It really is too bad, we are perfect for each other, even if imperfect in what we had to deal with. Can’t have this guy causing problems or making you pine for this fuckbeast. I get it. Just keep that smile for me.

Thank you for what you did for me. I don’t know if you understand the effect you had on me. Won’t get into it, but it was profound. You see me. That’s new to me.

Your good shit.

I don’t know if you will get it anytime soon, on your phone. I’m in running for a small grant from the Metropolitan Arts Council. I used the Date song as my example. The apparently liked it a lot. It wasn’t even a finished version. Got a call today,

There will be more on this site. Some may be just musings or short stories. Dunno, l’ll make sure say what’s going on with me.

It’s been quiet around here. I actually may have Andrea scared after what I filed last, not a peep or any other bullshit. Wiretap laws are serious. I have the evidence.

I stopped going after it. I don’t want it to blow back on your life. Joe really fucked up. Bad. In many ways.

Didn’t name anyone but Andrea. I seriously doubt anything will happen. I didn’t go to the agency’s that would be most likely to look at it. It is a blatant federal crime. I don’t really care if someone saw my wink dink. But someone is getting a dick kick for me If I ever see him. Watching us like that.

Easier to work on what I need to now, Been busy.

Be good, you fantastic woman. There is a comment section below.