MUSABLE.ME

I think I sent you this. I forget I send a lot. If so, here it is again maybe. This is the first song I wrote in 3 decades, I believe. It’s not as mean as it sounds. It’s a take off a Loui CK bit. Was an inside joke, wrote it for myself. Didn’t share it.

Dumb as hell, still, kind of like it.

After that it was the Jillian songs. I like those those much better. Still can’t play them. The muse giveth and taketh. 😜

Am I too old to be using Emojis?

I’ll deal and it will just be nice memory’s.  Thanks for them.

Long day. Got everything done and then some.

There are not as many good stories in the winter. I went to barbettes, had one beer.., The bartender didn’t charge me for some reason, Yaa?

Treated myself to a pair of nice earbuds. Had a really nice pair, one side died. So merry late Christmas to me! Been meaning to replace them.

Had a good therapy session today. That was an emotional dump. At one point she made some joke about me, and I called her an asshole, in jest of course. She’s good like that. I like her. She’ll fuck with me even when I’m diving into the shit.

Apparently, we need to dig into the childhood soon. weeee! Kinda makes sense now. My family sucks.

I am so tired I may actually sleep more than 2 or three hours at once.

Actually, I do have a story.

I was out smoking last week, and I hear A neighbor from the next building over crying, screaming and on with. 911, Marta. She was with her husband. I walked over there to make sure she is ok and he runs off, like almost comically books it and drives away. She doesn’t speak much English.

Was pretty obvious what was going on. I was able to communicate to her I would stay with her until the cops showed. She was ready, had 3 go bags in the basement hidden. Wanted to go to a shelter.

Made sure they had a place for her. Don’t know what happened after that. She’s a sweetheart, glad I could be there. Dude is like 5’3, so having me walk up probably helped.

Too many of these assholes.

Found a funny

Oh, actually kind of funny.
I was dealing with the bank and got a call from the county about services, It was a judge. Nothing too important has to do with benefits, shouldn’t have bothered. I don’t need it anymore.

My mind is elsewhere. he explains what’s up and I tell him I’m busy and I’d like him to call me back, didn’t register at first. He wasn’t down with that, got all judgey on me. I may have questioned that, mind elsewhere, didn’t know who I was talking to. Quite amusing now.

So, I said OK, you’re at the bank with me then. I was not in the mood for it, took me a few minutes to figure out what was going on. No one told me about it. At first, I thought it was a scam call or something, I don’t answer calls for the most part unless I know who it is. Most of it is garbage.

He picked the wrong time to call me. I explained it before the end of the call. Judges are not used to being talked to like that. We were good by the end. I smoothed it over.

Normally my one goal is to make the judge laugh, not piss them off.

I am still so sad. Just devastated.

We are stuck with each other in whatever form that may be now. Ya, me, I’m sorry. I’m a pain in the ass. I think you’ve met me.

Just really missing you tonight.

Made the mistake of playing one of your songs. Fucking meltdown.

Edit: I liked singing you songs. I tried with my pneumonia voice and my exhausted brain with a song I never played before. It kind of amuses me. I let the fuckups go. Can’t sing for shit now or think really.

Had a neighbor run up to the a few days ago. I say hi to her and her dog a lot in the morning. She hands me a new weed vape pen. She has a card, apparently there was a sale. Ok.

Cute dog.

(: Hi Friend 🙂

Doing more work on my site. Surprised how far I got. Just working on functionality now. But here’s the idea. I’ll redo the copy and change the design some. Add ads and affiliate links, not sure yet.

I think the adulting app might be next after I get this going. That’s a really good idea. I would so use that.

I think I’m starting to feel better, getting shit done. That time in the hospital may have actually been good, beyond just, you know, keeping me alive. It was a break. I was able to reset some, not worry about anything other than the issue I was there for.

Should be starting up with the gig work on Thursday.

I slept all damn day. 2 hours ago, was the first time I felt awake. Feeling so much better. That sick just seemed to come on slow. Never had it before.

Got to cranking on some ideas. Taking a pickup old projects night.

The Riff challenge site is close to minimum viable. Most of the functionality is there. I’m just going to launch that fucker and start posting some shit about it. Throw some ads and affiliate links on it. Fun project either way.

Should be Wednesday I can start getting to the gigging. I’ll have the money and my back should be fine by then. Damn, did I fuck it up.

I’m some way it was kind of nice to get out of here for a night and have people wait on me for a while. 1 and a half out of 5 stars. Except the grumpy nurse that I got in trouble from a few times. I liked her. 5 out of 5.

So, all that was fun.

Had been coughing and feeling off, but never thought of Pneumonia. Didn’t feel like too much before I passed out. Just some hypotension I thought.

I finally knew something was off and called an ambulance sometime early yesterday morning to get checked out. Everything looked fine. Was mostly concerned with my o2 saturation. It was well within range. So I didn’t go in.

Fun fact:

If you have good insurance and just need a quick emergent care visit, EMT’s are the shit, they don’t mind and can do a bunch of stuff. Even an EKG, they found an anomaly in my heart. Nothing at all to worry about, very common, but no one else caught it before. We had fun.

Well, 4 hours later and I cannot stop coughing, a dry nonstop cough., hurt like hell with my bruised muscles.

I was already in god awful pain from falling. Like nothing I have experienced before. So, Mr. hates to go to the docctor called another ambulance. and actually went in this time. Kinda impressed with myself.

When i got to the er my O2 was 87, not good. should be 97 to 100 Percent. Like really not good. Hence the passing out. It goes up and down.

Maren showed for a while at the hospital.

Got admitted, but was suck in this tiny er room for 11 hours while they got a room together. I cannot handle just sitting like that in a small space. Drove me insane.

Had a good nurse, she doped me up eventually so I could sleep. Good stuff.

Was better in the room.

And of course, my family had to interfere. I talked to a psyc there that said they contacted her. Made mention of a 72 hour hold, which she didn’t believe was necessary. I have asked them to stay out of things. An unnecessary hold could be a problem for my divorce.

Anyway. I’m feeling much better. Still tired and get tired walking too much like the old man I am, but it will pass.

Oh, and even better, I had Andrea at me and threatening me while i was there yesterday, she knew I had just gotten there. Tried to take the money to cover my rent we agreed on to deal with the insurance check. She tried to get me evicted. They wouldn’t let her, of course. WTF.

I have to ask management about that conversation. That has to be a funny story.

Hi.

Just finished that project. I am so tired. I’ve got a bug, bad. Was not fun coughing through that back injury.

I dd get some free jerky from a Neighbor (he he?). The stick things. (maybe? I’m tired) Poor guys wife works where they make them, he is happy to get rid of them. I don’t know how happy I am to receive. Good Guy. The one that used to work in the weed biz. Still ate one.

You’re not done with me, are you? It’s just a longer, rockier road without the more uncertain outcome we, or me thought may happen. You’re more pragmatic, than me. I’m Leroy Jenkins at times.

Keep talking darling. I am working on myself; I just have a mountain range of shit to cross to get there. I can do it. Just have a few more months of dealing with the big issue. Then I can relax.

If that is the place I may end up, I makes me work harder. Even the idea of it.

LU

Woke up to dreams of you. Emails, You, you were coming back. Kind of a bittersweet wake up. Don’t remember anything you wrote,

My back is slowly getting better. Still hurts like a bitch.

No more Issues of passing out. Never did figure it out. So that’s good. I’ve never lost consciousness before, kind of scary. ah, except on tme at parts 20 years oud, too much nitrous…

I’m going to be doing he uber thing to get by until I get my big boy job. Be good for me to be around people.

Hope all is well. Miss Yo Face

Starting to finally heal up. Damn that hurts. I went down hard. Had to be a loss of oxygen to my brain. It was instant.

Once I get moving for a while, it feels better. First thing in the morning is not pretty.

I am going to get out of here for a while. Not sure where. I would come there (see my email), if you gave the go ahead.

It’s too fucked up here. I do not feel safe, but I am keeping myself as safe as I can. It’s time for me to get out of dodge, if I can.

I am working on getting stuff done, had to take a break for a few days, back and ribs hurt too bad. Mostly slept. Need to get back to it tomorrow full time.

Had a miscommunication with that small project. He didn’t explain what he wanted well. It happens. Want to make him happy, could be a lot more work for his realty company. Nice guy. We get along well. I could help him a lot. It’s what I do to a T.

We figured it out. Talked with him today. Somehow, I’m good with clients. I just don’t bullshit them ever. Unless they are assholes, then you get the “pain in the ass tax” added to your bill and me doing exactly what you ask for with no thought.

I hope you are doing well and hope to hear from you soon. Even a short email makes me happy. I’ll be good, just want to know how you are doing, always.

You take care of you and yours. I’ll do my best to take care of myself. ltso… can’t stop that. Sorry.

Going to add all of your songs to the front page. Thanks for being my muse.

You helped me do some of my best work. All art grant worthy and shit. I am going to do a full recording with other instruments at some point, just can’t bring myself to play them again yet. I’ll get there.

Always here.